The Apathy

I had a melt down last night. It started over an argument over bloody vegetables, of all things (I wanted more added to the casserole: Chebbar didn’t; he ended up “caving” and adding more to “appease” me (my words, not his), which pissed me off more, for some reason). I took a shower while the casserole was in the over so I could calm down; instead, my ire grew. I was pissed the fuck off by the time I got out of the shower (sorry for the language: I was THAT mad). I stalked back into the kitchen spoiling for a fight. I was literally balanced on my toes, just waiting to lash out and strike at him (which is so unlike the “normal” me).

Underneath the anger was a frisson of fear: I was scared, but I couldn’t pin down what I was afraid of or why – I was just a big, whirling ball of angry fear. The emo-word-vomit started at that point.